Here's what I know... A woman notices the little things you do and don't do.

Did you ever wonder what are the things upon which a woman judges you?

Here's what I know...

1. She notices if you suggest she come to a place right near you for the date, a place that is nowhere near her and then you don't offer to go pick her up. And on top of that, you make no apology for this lack of consideration.

2. She notices if you tip under 20 percent because the norm is 20 percent.

3. She notices if you don't tip on liquor because everyone tips on liquor.

4. She notices if you get out of the taxi first, don't offer to escort her home and then don't offer to pay to get her home.

5. She notices if you talk about yourself all night long and never even remember to ask her one question about her.

6. She notices if you check out every girl who walks in the door, even the ugly ones; she's not blind you know!

Here's what I know... Common music taste is a good indicator of chemistry

Have you ever wondered if it matters that you and your beau have radically different music tastes?

Here's what I know...

(1) Connection can come from anything, but the more things you have in common, the more intense the relationship is going to be.

(2) Music can provide a really fun connection between two people, especially when you both feel comfortable enough to sing the words to the tunes outloud and off-key to each other!

(3) A good old-fashioned music concert with a band you both love is great foreplay!

(4) Even if he likes Led Zeppelin and you like Barry Manilow, but you both love Earth Wind and Fire and Fleetwood Mac, you have it made!

(5) If your music taste is not exactly the same, when you going on a trip in the car, you need to agree upfront that you will alternate music choices.

(6) Music is a hobby so it is not critical that you have the same taste in it, but it is important that you are open to exploring each other's taste.

Here's what I know.. Men and women need very different things while dating.

Do you ever wonder how it is possible that your guy needs something so different from what you need in your relationship?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men think big picture. They know you are having dinner together and that they are getting to see you, but they usually spend much time thinking about where.



(2) Men know when they like you and they don't need like sweet nothings and cute exchanges to be sure of their feelings the way women do.

(3) Men have about a 90 second attention span of a story. Keep the long ones for your girlfriends.

(4) Men focus more on what happens when you are together and they don't spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship when you are not together.

(5) Men don't spend time during the week, recounting cute stories about your date to their friends. The most they usually say is, "it was cool, she's hot, I like her, I am seeing her again"- the basics and that's all he needs.

(6) Men can be thinking positively about a woman without being in touch with her. It's like he has the comfort of knowing her likes you without the need to be in touch with you every second. This is a hard one to get used to.

Here' what I know... You need to be able to "get with the flow" when you are dating.

Do you ever wonder if a guy stopped seeing you because you just couldn't go with the flow?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you are dating, you need to be flexible about things.

(2) Plans change, and things come up, so you need to be able to figure out how to go with the flow without having a girl-fit.

(3) If you punish your guy for screwing up the perfect plan, you might wantt ask yourself who you are really punishing.

(4) Next time you are about to have a hissy-fit because things aren't going your way, think about an alternative plan that might work for both of you.

(5) If you indicate to your guy that you can't be flexible, ultimately he won't want to be with you because life is complicated enough without your being difficult.

(6) It might be a growing experience for you to try to just let things happen, whether or not they are part of your grand scheme plan. You might be surprised at how things turn out!

Here's what I know...Everyone has that "foot in the mouth moment" when they are dating

Have you ever been on a date and something comes out of your mouth and you literally can't believe you said it?

Here's what I know...

(1) Everyone puts their foot in their mouth, a lot, when they are dating.

(2) You can always cover over a stupid comment with a giggle or a just kidding (the way you use LOL every two seconds in email) and hope for the best. If you have a killer smile or if you are a good flirter, the person sitting across the table will probably forgive your stupidity.

(3) Even if the first words out of your mouth as you greeted your blind date were " Hi, wow, you look tired", instead of what you meant to say that she looked great, you can still figure out a way to recover if you just are sweet at other parts of the night.

(4) Even if you told an ex-girlfriend that you are glad you dated her because it gives you "street cred" with other people, this still does not mean you are a hopeless dater, just a little insensitive at times.

(5) Even if you spent an hour talking about your ex when you swore you wouldn't even bring him up, you can recover, especially if the person sitting across the table likes you.

(6) People who are looking to meet someone great, tend NOT to judge someone on 1 lone stupid comment, they tend to take things "under advisement" and wait and see.

(7) Instead of harping on the stupid or bad thing you said, and instead of bringing it up again and again (because that only makes the person remember it all the more), more forward in the conversation confidently and let the person see the real and thoughtful you instead.

Here's what I know... If he stopped calling you over something little, then he wasn't yours anyway.

How many times have you obsessed over the littlest thing that you did in your relationship, thinking that your one small action was the reason for its demise?

Here's what I know...

(1) Guys don't break up with girls over little things.

(2) Once a guy decides he is attracted to you, he won't break up with you over something that only you notice- that one pimple which you get on a Tuesday or the fact that you wore a bra that didn't make your boobs look as big as they usually do.

(3) Guys don't pay attention to how many "xo's" you put at the end of your text message and he certainly won't break up with you over that.

(4) Guys read emails very quickly and they don't labor over every word you wrote and what you meant by them, the way girls do. Absent your writing something really awful, he is not going to break-up with you because of your LOL or because you had too many typos.

(5) It is natural to question the last little thing you did with a guy if he ends things with you and you are not sure why. However, to find out what really went wrong you need to dig deeper and look at the full picture and patterns of behaviour.

(6) When you are dating someone, it's more important to learn the things that would bother HIM, not obsess about the things that would bother you that don't even register on his "notice" meter. Ex: he won't notice if your smiley face in your text was a full smile or a wink, but he will notice if you need to have a "relationship conversation" by email during work hours when he is in his office!

Here's what I know... You should be able to "agree to disagree" if you want to be together.

Have you ever gotten into a situation with the person you are dating where you just cannot come to terms?

Here's what I know...

(1)Sometimes two people have opposing viewpoints on a subject and just cannot agree.

(2) If you care about someone, you should give them the space to have his or her own opinion and for you to have yours.

(3) Sometimes a disagreement can be healthy for a relationship as long as you can move by it.

(4) Two people will never agree on everything and this can add dimensionality to your relationship.

(5) If you have a disagreement and you cannot come to terms, you need to think about whether you can respect the other person's point of view although you don't agree w it.

(6) Perhaps you can learn something from your partner's differing viewpoint. Take a step back and try to understand how they are looking at things.

Here's what I know... You should be with someone who loves "the real you."

Have you ever wondered why you would put yourself in a circumstance where you are apologizing for just being you?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are pretty damn great. You need to find that person who understands that.

(2) You need to be with someone who loves all that you are and all that you are not. Marlene told me that and it's very important.

(3) If someone is questioning who you are, have you ever stopped and asked, who are they?

(4) If you are asking why you are compromising yourself, then you are in the wrong situation.

(5) If you constantly need to hide the real you, then you aren't in the right situation.

(6) If you know deep down that you are trying to fit a square peg in to a round hole, take a step back and don't do it. Do you real want to take all this time to pick someone, only to then get divorced?

Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.

Have you ever watched in wonderment as one of your female friends crosses the line with the guy you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to be honest with yourself and decide if you are an overly jealous and sensitive person or if it is obvious that your friend is crossing the line.

(2) It would be appropriate for your friend to say hello to him at a party and having a 2 to 5 minute conversation with him. It would be inappropriate for her to corner him for 30 minutes with her "come hither" eyes batting away.

(3) It would be appropriate for her to include him on a group email or an email to both of you. It would be inappropriate for her to email him directly and asking him a question about the two of you that she could have just as easily asked you directly.

(4) It would be appropriate for her to let him buy her a drink. It would be inappropriate for her to assume that she is "his second girlfriend" and that he will buy her dinner every time you all go out.

(5) If you do have a friend who is crossing the line in this area, you need to think about whether she is really your friend, your frenemy or just after your guy.

(6) If you think that your friend is crossing the line and you are not certain that she is doing it on purpose, have a conversation with her. She might learn something about proper behaviour and you might save a friendship.

Here's what I know.. there is a lid for every pot.

Do you ever feel like what you are looking for in a relationship is so much deeper than what most people can handle?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are not alone; many people feel like there are very few people who really understand them.

(2) There are people out there that want to have a very deep relationship, you just need to keep on the look out for them and not settle for someone who isn't of your caliber.

(3) It usually takes a person who has had some drama, loss or difficulties in their life to make someone want to have a deeper relationship. If you are dating Mr Happy Go Lucky, it is probably going to be difficult to get him to understand you.

(4) Not everyone is for everyone. You need to find who is right for you, not obsess over who isn't.

(5) You need to make room for the possibility that someone can catch up to you in desiring a deep relationship; you just need to give them the time and the space to try.

(6) You need to be open to understanding someone else's definition of a deep relationship and see if perhaps the two of you can find a happy medium.

Here's what I know... You need to marry "a man."

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wish he could step up and be a man?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.

(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.

(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.

(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.

(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.

(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.

Here's what I know...The break up conversation is hard

Did you ever notice that a "break if off" conversation never goes the way you want it to?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story and during a break it off conversation those sides are usually very different.

(2) It is very difficult to not get defensive during a conversation of this nature and if you did get defensive, you shouldn't feel badly, the other person knows why you acted that way.

(3) If you wanted to say that you were sorry and to ask nicely for a second chance and you didn't because your pride got in the way, you can always say that now. If you were with a good person,they should be willing to listen.

(4) Break ups are very rarely final the first time around. If someone cared about you enough to be in it with you and then to break it off with you instead of just blowing you off, then that person should be willing to explore, at least once, if there is still something there or if there is a way to rectify, simplify or alter things.

(5) Even if your feelings got hurt by the person's honesty and you had that "stinging" feeling, try to learn from what they said and effect positive change in your life.

(6) If you think there was a miscommunication or you were judged unfairly or incorrectly, re-open the dialogue and calmly try to explain how you are feeling. If you were with a good person, they should be willing to listen and explore.

(7) If someone cuts you off at the knees and gives you no wiggle room at all, you should be wondering about their ability to connect and their desire to be in a good and communicative relationship because no one's perfect and those that can't realize that all humans have some flaws will go out on hundreds of date and have trouble ending up with someone long term.

PS- Maybe go rent The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston, so you can add a little comic relief to the situation!

Here's what I know... Slow and steady wins the race

Didn't you used to think that the only person you could fall in love with was the person who you have this instantaneous, "I need to see you every minute of every day" attraction to?

Here's what I know...

(1) Relationships that start off fast and furiously almost always crash and burn.

(2) Slow and steady relationships might just be slow and steady, but if you think about all the time you have wasted dating people who are wrong for you, isn't it worth it to give time to a slow and steady one that has real potential?

(3) Fast and furious relationships almost always have a sexual component too quickly. Sex should be sacred, especially with the person you are going to marry. It's okay if you wait a bit to do it. And it's a good sign if both people think that way.

(4) Most married people you will talk to will tell you that the dating they did with their spouse was different from any other relationship they had ever had. Most will tell you that they weren't exactly sure in the beginning, but there were ingredients there that made them stick around and build something substantial.

(5) If someone is crazy about you and thinks you are terrific before they know you are terrific, you should be suspicious.

(6) Fast and furious relationships go full speed ahead without looking at if two people have the building blocks for a solid relationship- respect for each other, laughter, similar intelligence and similar values. Then once the excitement wears off a bit, most people will realize that those key ingredients were not there, and the relationship will crash and burn.

(7) A slow and steady relationship should not scare you, it should excite you. There is something to be said for a relationship that stays its course and where you learn something new and different about the person all the time. It takes time to build the right relationship.

Here's what I know... How to survive Valentine's Day

If you had to admit it, aren't you just a wee bit nervous about tonight?

Here's what I know...

(1) Plan to act surprised and excited; "act" being the operative word. Even if you know where you are going tonight because you snooped in his blackberry, feign surprise when you arrive there. And even if you have been to his restaurant choice 15 other times, pretend to be excited when you get there; after all this is the first time you are going there with him. He will be crestfallen if you act any other way.

(2) Keep how many cute gifts you schlep to the restaurant to a minimum. No sense looking like a tourist for christ sake. Plus keep in mind that it's only V-Day not his first Christmas!

(3) Dress sexy tonight; it is a dress or a skirt night, girls! Even if it snows, don that sexy dress, and let him see that you are putting forth the effort.

(4) Wear sexy lingerie or at very least matching bra and panties. You are going to get action tonight and just like you wouldn't want to end up joining the mile high club with unshaven legs, the same applies to lingerie of V-Day!

(5) You need to be prepared to "eww and ahhh" about his attempt at romance, no matter what. If you don't, he will never try again and certainly some effort is better than no effort!!

(6) Plan on being frisky. V-Day is the best foreplay so keep in mind that tonight is not the night to have a headache, skimp on the BJ or have to check on the kids.

To read more of Matchmaker in the Know blog, click here

Here's what I know... You need to "juggle" your women "well" on Valentine's Day

Are you one of those people who is dating more than one person right now and you are a bit panicked about how to handle Valentine's Day?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love Valentine's Day, so you better figure out a way to "pay homage" to all your ladies this Saturday.

(2) You don't have to feel guilty about dating more than one person as long as you remember all of them on Valentine's Day.

(3) You either need to see a woman on Valentine's Day or send her something sweet. If you do nothing, you will surely end up in the doghouse.

(4) It's okay to have one woman who is your "A game" and who you want to see on Saturday night. Just make sure you cover your tracks so you don't wind up getting into trouble with all the others.

(5) Don't overdo it, out of guilt, i.e., don't write a lovey dovey card or send her 6 different presents just because you feel guilty that you told a little white lie about your plans on the big day. This will just lead her on for no reason.

(6) The women you are dating might be dating other guys as well. Hence, they actually might be fine with not having plans with you on Saturday night as long as you made a nice romantic gesture towards her in lieu of plans!

Here's what I know... Saturday night is still considered date night

Have you ever noticed that even though there is no longer such a thing as Saturday night date night, that you still feel a little off-kilter when you don't have date on a Saturday?

Here's what I know...

(1) Most people these days don't bat an eyelash about going out alone during the week but they feel differently about it on Saturdays.

(2) People don't seem to notice if someone is alone most nights of the week, but they notice this on Saturday nights.

(3) Many women will choose to stay home on a Saturday night if their only option is to go out with the girls.

(4) Many people who have plans pretty much every night of the week often find themselves without plans on Saturday night if they aren't dating anyone. You are not alone in this.

(5) If you are dating someone, you should be taking them out on Saturday nights. If you are not, they are wondering why you are not.

(6) If you are choosing to go out with your friends on a Saturday night as opposed to on a date with someone you are seeing, you probably don't like that person all that much.

(7) Many people feel like Saturday night is "amateur night" at most bars and clubs. However, keep in mind that you can meet someone anywhere, any night of week, so be open-minded!

Here's what I know...A guy won't email you back until he knows when he can see you next

Did you ever notice that if a guy doesn't know when he can see you next, he just doesn't answer your email at all???

Here's what I know...

(1)Most girls can answer part of an email- focus on a section and leave the other section until later, most guys cannot.

(2)Most girls think it's proper to answer an email in a timely fashion, if only to say that she doesn't have the answer to a question right now; most guys would never admit not having that answer, they will just wait to email back until they have the answer

(3)Most girls will actually write in an email that she isn't sure when she can get together and that will get back to the guy at a later time when she does know; most guys won't do that, they don't think there is any value in saying something this.

(4)Most guys don't see the value in idle chitchat with a girl that he just started to date until he has figured out in his head when he can see her next. Girls love idle chitchat.

(5)Most guys don't realize that a girl will determine with 10 of her girlfriends that if a guy doesn't email back right away, he is no longer interested. Most guys refrain from getting their guy friends opinions especially about emails.

(6)Most guys don't realize that a girl will "kind of" not make plans for the weekend until she knows whether there is any remote possibility that she can see the guy she likes. Many times she will even end up plan-less for the whole weekend because she was waiting. She shouldn't be waiting, but she always does!

(7)Most girls would like guys to realize all of the above or at least try to realize!

Here's what I know...Women and the Super Bowl

Did you ever notice that a girlwill forego watching the Super Bowl if there is a cute guy in the room?

Here's what I know...

(1)No matter what, girls care more about boys than they do about football.

(2)Girls go to Super Bowl parties to meet boys even if they claim that they love the sport.

(3)Girls pick Super Bowl outfits that are just casual enough with a hint of sexy. This choosing process takes a long time and the women walk a fine line here... a short skirt, high boots and a sexy top just doesn't cut it at a Super Bowl party, but a short shirt, high boots and a "Go Cardinals" t-shirt might!

(4)Girls spend more time thinking about where they are going to watch the Super Bowl than a guys does even though chances are, she has no intention of watching the game!

(5)Girls like to organize the "box game" even though they have no idea how it really works. This is a great excuse to meet every guy in the room!

(6)Girls love to bet the game, but not for money, usually for some "flirtation" prize like a massage or cocktails with the "man of the hour"!

Here's what I know...Kissing is the most important thing

Did you ever notice that if the kiss sucks, then the game is over???

Here's what I know...

(1)The kiss is the prelude to all things sexual.

(2) The kiss can be more sexual than sex.

(3)Women love to make-out for hours, so do men... in the beginning, but then they get over it real fast!

(4)Kissing gives women butterflies more than any other sexual activity. The kiss is what will make her have a smile on her face tomorrow at 3pm when she is thinking about you.

(5)Bad breath can cause a kiss not to happen but if you go for it anyway, bad breath goes away once you are kissing. Yuck, I know.

(6)Some people kiss well immediately, other people need to get used to each other. Don't be discouraged if it isn't perfect instantaneously- if you focus, you can change that baby right away.

(7)People can follow your rhythm if you are a good kisser. It's like dancing!

Here's what I know...Texting is ruining good dating

Have you ever been in a circumstance where you literally don't utter one verbal word to a person with whom you are going on a date until you see them live on the date??

Here's what I know...

(1)Texting is meant to supplement calls and dates, not replace them.

(2)If you met someone and you are planning to take them out, you need to log in a call, even for 5 minutes just to say hello before the date.

(3)Regardless of how busy you think you are, you are no busier than anyone else out there; if they have time to talk to you, you should have time to talk to them.

(4)There is no substitute for verbal banter.

(5)Girls assume that if you really like them, you would find time to pick up the phone and call. Hence, if you really do like them, you are doing yourself a disservice by not calling.

(6)People find text abbreviations annoying and hard to understand. Old fashioned chatting from time to time just might be easier.